#008 - Romance In Films Is Romance In Films

At best, sex is fumbled and tiring. It can be romantic occasionally, but only if you’re either in love, falling in love, or in a decent relationship. And even then, the majority of your brain is occupied thinking about how to make that awkward, challenging female feel some amount of pleasure, lest you get insecure about that masculinity burden of yours and start crying.

Fortunately in films, people don’t think. Somehow, they seem to enter an altered state of consciousness, and have the most animalistic, picture-perfect and naturally-talented sex you can imagine. I don’t remember a scene in The Notebook where the guy got cramp in his foot and had to pause for a minute, massaging himself in pain. Although that would have made it a more enjoyable film, just to get rid of that fucking smirk off his face.

And naturally, humans have made the logical assumption that they can achieve this kind of sex, despite it not being real. Guys and girls alike seem to forget that eventually the guys arms will probably be on fire and he’ll have to get off you soon, or the guy might fail to live up to that convenient mutual climax that film characters always manage to achieve, or maybe he’ll end up taking so long that the girl’s legs start to shake and she has to, erm, “hurry him along” shall we say. Or maybe he’ll just have to wank himself off.

I do believe sex has lost a lot of any implied romanticism within it (at least by today‘s standards), and it’s a real shame. Sex can definitely have some really nice moments, and a lot of people don’t seem to care about embracing that anymore. But at the same time, let’s not forget sex as being the equivalent of playing chess with someone who’s never played chess before; you know that you’re enjoying it, but you’re constantly in thought throughout, wondering what your next move will be, wondering if that last move was a good idea, and wondering if the other person is actually enjoying it.

Was losing your virginity the romantic rite-of-passage you were led to believe it would be? Of course not, you lost in a bush when you were fifteen to an unemployed and intimidating nineteen-year-old.